sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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