hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
