You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating