Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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