brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?