Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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