I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
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i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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