Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize