Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
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I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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