Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize