i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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