hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
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Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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