gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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