my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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