According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
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siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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