so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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