Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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