my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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