woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize