I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize