Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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