I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
