I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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