I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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