I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
