What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
