i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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