also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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