i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
