I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
