these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
