My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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