I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
whose ass print is on the piano?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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