i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm at about main and main street
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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