I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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