my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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