Pappa wants mamma naked
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
