yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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