she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS