the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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