Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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