No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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