I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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