No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
