Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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