Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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