Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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