she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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