I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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