on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think people are normalizing furries
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
