sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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