come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize